Sunday, April 19, 2009

Missing My Family

Yesterday I returned from the Mid-West Homeschool Convention in Cincinnati. I had a truly wonderful time. I enjoyed and was enriched by the presentations of many great speakers. I loved my time in the vendor's hall and made some purchases that I am very excited about! I also gathered information on many different curriculum that I will file away for when I need them. Overall, I would say that I met my goals and fulfilled my reasons for attending the conference.

Unexpectedly, I was surprised to find just how much I missed my family when I was away, though. I knew I would miss them but I truly believed that I would enjoy my "alone time." While I enjoyed my time at the conference thoroughly, I didn't really enjoy my alone time. This surprised me. For a mom who is NEVER alone and craves alone time, I thought a huge chunk of alone time would be delightful, decadent, luxurious, perfect.

I was actually shocked by the intense physical need that was growing inside of me by the end of the conference. If any of my family had been with me, I think I would have fared much better. I desperately wanted to snuggle against my warm husband at night so that I could fall asleep easily. I desperately wanted to feel the bony, short thinness and the sweet, soft cheeks of my youngest son. I desperately wanted to feel the solid, same-height sturdiness of my middle son and the taller than me muscular, slender body of my oldest daughter. I missed the constant presence of Hershey, our cocker spaniel, and Basil, our cat. I felt like part of my body was just missing - I felt restless and uneasy - by the end, even though I loved the conference, I just wanted to go home.

I arrived at the conference on Thursday around 4pm and by Saturday morning - I was truly and completely ready to just come home. So, instead of attending the last few speakers that I had intended to see, I left Saturday morning. I gathered my things, strapped them to my body, walked to my car, pressed "Go Home" on the GPS system, and I came home. I felt relief just flood through my body once I pressed "Go Home" and I knew that I was on my way. In a few short hours, I knew I would be seeing the familiar sights of home, smelling the familiar smells of home, hearing the familiar sounds of home, and feeling the people that I love more than anything in the world again.

It is good to be alone sometimes but it is far better to be with one's family. This is where I belong. This is where I am supposed to be - busy at home.

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