Being There

I spent all of yesterday afternoon into the early evening at my middle son's swim meet. Now, this is not unusual for me at all - I attend my children's swim meets almost every week-end.

The unusual part was that I was extremely uncomfortable. Now, I don't like being uncomfortable and I have a whole system for being at swim meets. Usually, I arrive at a swim meet over an hour before it starts so that my swimmer(s) are there in time for warm-ups. I am always able to choose a good seat with back support. I also have time to spread out my swim meet survival kit (books to read, grading to do, iPod to listen to, drinks, snacks) and settle in to reading a good book after highlighting all of my swimmer(s) events on the heat sheet.

But, yesterday, the meet was at our home pool so it wasn't too far from our house. My middle son was swimming and my daughter and husband were both timing at the meet. So, my youngest and I drove separately and came to the meet right before it started.

The stands were PACKED! It was HOT in the stands! I absolutely couldn't find a seat for Duncan and I. We ended up wedged back in a corner, sitting on the floor, barely able to see, and I was unable to proceed with my normal swim meet routine. I was uncomfortable, really uncomfortable. I sincerely considered just leaving. What did it really matter, anyway? Duncan seemed to be OK, though, he's smaller and had made a little nest for himself and was playing his DS. So, I decided we would stick it out.

I moved to another location right before Mason's first event (100 Free) so that I could actually see him swim. Then I noticed that he was in line in his lane and he was desperately scanning the crowds. Then I realized that he was looking for ME. I thought about how incredibly fortunate I am to have a son who loves me so much that he desperately wants me to see him swim his events. I began to jump up and down and wave to attract his attention. He finally saw me, his face relaxed, and he smiled. He knew I was there, in the stands, watching him, being proud of him, cheering him on.

After his event, I went back to my uncomfortable little spot on the floor by Duncan and was just happy that I could be there. After all, it's not about me, it's never been about me. Since the moment my first was born, it's always been about them.