Thursday, May 7, 2009

Differential Rudeness

We just returned from a really fun overnight trip to Kalahari Indoor Waterpark Resort in Sandusky, Ohio. Overall, we had a lovely time and the children really had a ton of delightful fun in the wave pool and on the water slides.

We did have one slightly unpleasant event happen during our time at Kalahari, though. While it was not a major incident by any means, the event really made me think. My two boys (10 and 7) wanted to play in the arcade so after the water park closed for the evening at 9pm, they changed into dry clothes and I took them back downstairs to the large arcade area. The boys had each brought money of their own that they were using in the arcade. They had a good time, and were quite excited about the tickets they won in the games that they played. They were VERY excited about trading their tickets in for some of the small prizes that were displayed at the main counter in the arcade.

Sadly, the Kalahari Resort employee who was working behind the main counter was LESS than excited about helping two excited boys pick out their prizes. I was sitting in a nearby chair reading when my boys came over to me and declared that the lady at the counter was mean. My oldest son said that the employee was rude and just ignored his questions and rolled her eyes at him several times. My youngest was visibly upset and was fighting back tears. He explained to me that he had asked for a blue wrapped candy and he was given a brown wrapped candy. When he told the employee that he had asked for a blue wrapped candy, she simply refused to trade it - she said that there were no trades after prizes had been given and she wouldn't even consider that she had made a mistake.

Well, needless to say when Mama Bear stalked over to the prize counter with her claws at the ready, the Kalahari employee was quite eager and quick to make the exchange. My youngest had his desired blue candy, the tears were gone and replaced with a huge smile, and I was the hero of the hour to my dear, sweet son. I love happy endings.

My 12 year old daughter also experienced rude behavior from an employee at Kalahari. While at the waterpark, I gave her the room key so that she could charge a slushee drink to our room. The employee asked her what her room number was and my daughter didn't know our room number immediately - she had to think about it. We had just checked in less than a half hour before. Anyway, the employee snapped at her and was rude about her not knowing the room number instantly. My daughter explained that we had just checked in. I wonder if the employee would have been rude to me if I could not instantly remember our room number. Perhaps she would have been.....perhaps not.

These small events really got me thinking, though. First, as much as it costs to spend the night at Kalahari Indoor Waterpark in Sandusky, Ohio, I feel ALL of the employees should be as nice as possible to EVERYBODY. The ONLY reason my husband and I went there was for OUR KIDS so they should be treated with particular care and sweetness from EVERY employee. But, that rant aside...the small event made me think about how easy it is for adults to treat children with disrespect and rudeness.

While rude behavior is certainly not uncommon directed towards adults and children in equal measure, differential rudeness seems to be a particular species of ugly. Differential rudeness occurs when an employee is not rude to an adult but thinks nothing of being rude to a child. The experience that my sons had at the prize counter is a good example of differential rudeness. Why are people differentially rude to children? I simply don't know the answer to that question.

The question does make me ponder my own behavior. Am I sometimes differentially rude to my children? Do I sometimes speak to them with disrespect - disrespect that I wouldn't show to my husband or to a friend? Do I sometimes not listen to them or disregard their concerns? Does differential rudeness occur in my own home? Yes, of course it does. Does it happen all of the time? No, it does not and I am quite proud of that fact. Is this an area in which I can continue to grow, improve, and try to do better? Yes, it is.

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